I cried last night.
It was a quiet cry. No one noticed. I didn't want anyone to see me. Hubby isn't the sympathetic type. Just the opposite. He would have told me all the reasons it was wrong to be upset and to be crying. So I stared out the window of the van, into the dark, and cried. Then I composed myself before anyone could ask questions.
I was crying because my weekly visit with C consisted of a 15 minute ride home from Robotics. And it wasn't enough. You see, C is a very busy 17 year old. He is busy with school, busy with learning to drive, busy with after school activities, busy with a girlfriend and busy being on the Robotics team. That doesn't leave much time for me and my silly Mommy needs. I am still pretty new to the visitation thing. Up until this past August he lived with me. For 16 1/2 years I had him near me for all the free minutes he had. No, those free minutes aren't much but they are much more than I get now. Even though he is a normal teenage boy who would rather be alone with his cell phone, computer and TV....I still felt content knowing he was here. I could go see him anytime I wanted. I knew he was safe and sound and I could check on that anytime I felt the need. But now its different. Now I only see him every other weekend and every Wednesday. But lately that isn't even true. He is so busy.....and those times have become less and less. I understand that it is normal. A part of growing up. But it still hurts. My heart hurts because I miss him so much. He goes for his drivers test on Thursday and I hope he comes to see his poor pitiful mom more. Just because he can....and maybe because he misses me too.
I can hope.
- Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys
- Im a Christian Stay at home mom...that means I am a professional multi-tasker and I give all the credit to Jesus. I am married to my best friend and have 3 wonderful sons. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain, But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.