Sunday, October 11, 2009

Resistance

This post might seem a little vague, only because I am not planning to name names or go into specifics. But I am hoping you will still understand my point.

I, after years of doing nothing for myself, am now spending between 3 and 5 hours a week doing what I want to do. There! I said it. See, aren't you all judging me? Saying how horrible it is for me to take a WHOLE 3 to 5 hours (a week) to MYSELF?!? How dare I!!! Right?

No? Really? You don't think that is the worst thing you ever heard? You don't judge me (except Kristina P) or think I am horrible? Wow. I'm shocked. Because if you knew the crap I am dealing with now you would think that I took up a hobby of skinning cats or worse.

I don't know why. No, I take that back. I KNOW why and I know what the problem is, the problem is that I have slowly given up every part of me. It didn't seem like much because it was a little bit here and a little bit there. Eventually over time, all of Me was gone....and no one noticed but me. So now that I want a little bit of that part of me back, I am the bad guy. Or at least certain people would have you believe that.

Want to know a secret? I'm not falling for it this time. Nope. I am older, wiser and have my priorities set. And I am not giving in......you can't make me.

So there!!

14 comments:

Em said...

I don't know who is giving you trouble, but you need to get them out of your life, now.

No one needs to put up with that toxic crap.

The one dirty little secret I finally discovered with Youngest starting preschool this year - I'm a better mom because I can count on 8 hours, by myself, each week.

See, I suck more than you do ;-)

P.S. for some reason I cannot read your blog on my NetBook via blogger, so I have to use Google Reader = no comments. But I'm here!! Your post got me so steamed I had to boot up the ole desktop to lend you some support. Hugs girl.

Amy said...

You stay strong and remember how MUCH you ENJOY those 3 to 5 hours each week and how much the kiddos are too!

And I am here to listen to you complain as much as you want to!

Amy said...

Everyone, Mom's included, need to takea few hours for themselves each week. The "me" time helps keep you centered, keeps you sane, and helps you appreciate the time you are with your family.

My dirty secret...I enjoy the weekends when my son goes to his dad's house. I am completly free during this time. Do I resent it if he needs to stay home for some reason? Absolutly not, I plan fun things for us to do and it becomes a special weekend.

I think my time to myself has made me a better mom and helps me appreciate the time he is with me even more.

Rebecca Jo said...

Hang in there... things usually get worse before they get better!!! HUGS!!!

mom said...

When you were little I used to say I am on strike and I didn't do anything for anybody but me that whole day. It was me time.

We all understand and agree so don't worry.

EmmaP said...

yeah.. it's pretty much all about me right now. :) so i hear ya! Let's form an "It's all about me!" club! Who's with me??? lol!

Alice in Wonderland said...

Denise, I've been through a lot of crap too, and everyone was there for me, you know that I am always here for you to rant at!
Big hugs!

Mimi said...

That is the best thing you can do for yourself & your family. When you lose yourself, your not as good of a person, a mother, a wife or a friend. Stay strong.

I left you an award on my blog, so stop by and pick it up!

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

AND TAKE THAT! i hope you stomped out of the room after you wrote that!

Trisha Pearson said...

I totally understand where you're coming from. As moms, we do give up so much of ourselves and then there are always certain other people with their expectations of us. We NEED time to spend with ourselves to recharge and reconnect. The "others" don't always like it or understand, but too bad!

Beth in NC said...

Ha, good for you. We all need to think of ourselves sometimes -- especially Moms. I can totally relate.

M-Cat said...

I say good on ya! Every person needs some time for "me". I don't care what life situation you are in, your age, or whatever, you can't lose sight of who you are and what you enjoy JUST FOR YOURSELF.

and I agree with Em, unless it's your hubby, lose the toxic relationship of someone who would have you believe otherwise.

Brenda Jean said...

I remember when I went through this and when I finally REALLY started taking time for myself I became a better mom, a better wife and it felt good to find myself again. It's a good thing!

Hanneke Nelson said...

Good girl! There is NOTHING selfish about paying a little attention to yourself.

It's like they say: "Ain't nobody happy if Mommy ain't happy..."

About Me

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Im a Christian Stay at home mom...that means I am a professional multi-tasker and I give all the credit to Jesus. I am married to my best friend and have 3 wonderful sons. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain, But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

More about Me....

Here are some posts that explain about my illnesses

Health Class 101

Things you need to know

Mornings and Why I don't mind being sick