Monday, April 26, 2010

the blog where I whine and cry

People keep asking me how I am doing. I keep politely telling them that I am OK, or that I'm hanging in there. Want to know the truth? I am not OK. I want to throw a temper tantrum. I want to kick and scream and yell and scream. I WANT HIM BACK!  I know I am selfish but I want him back. I want one more day, one more hug, one more kiss. I want him to tell me he loves me one more time. To show me that ornery grin one more time. Or maybe a hundred more times. Everyone says it is OK, he isn't in pain anymore. I know he isn't, I know he is peaceful and happy and looking down on me.

But right now I want him back. I WANT HIM BACK!!!!!!

6 comments:

Mom said...

Denise I am so sorry you are hurting so bad. I had no idea that his passing would make you hurt and want him back so bad. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but right now I just can't think of anything to say to you except that I am so sorry that he is gone. I Love You, Muah!

EmmaP said...

I am sorry. I wish there is something I could say or do... Instead, I will offer up my heart and some prayers. may you find comfort in his memories... and feel free to cry and whine as long as you need to hun. We'll be here when you're ready!

{{hugs}}

Angel Muly said...

I am so sorry. I lost my mom last August. It is hard and you have every right to whine and cry. I am praying for you. Love you, Angel

Wendyburd1 said...

((HUGS)) I know Denise. Years later and I STILL want one lest chance to get a hug and tell HIM how much I love him and what an impact he had on my life, just being him.

I am so sorry for your loss. Grandparents are so underappreciated by people, but they are so special. I wish I had ANY left. They have all been gone so long, I forget what it felt like to HAVE them sometimes.((HUGS)) You are totally being reasonable, you are glad he is at peace but you are not there yet, not with his passing. It is okay to feel that way!

M-Cat said...

WIsh I had the right words. But I feel the same way about my Grandma. Just ONE MORE!

Mimi said...

Whining and crying are o.k. It's all part of this horrible process.

About Me

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Im a Christian Stay at home mom...that means I am a professional multi-tasker and I give all the credit to Jesus. I am married to my best friend and have 3 wonderful sons. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain, But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

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Mornings and Why I don't mind being sick