Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A Tough Decision

I need some input from all the Moms out there. We are facing the upcoming Kindergarten sign-ups and aren't sure what to do. There is no pre-K program where we live, and we cannot afford to pay and send R to one. He will be 5 in August, which is normally when children start Kindergarten. However, I personally don't know that he is ready for school. I have several reasons for feeling this way. Maturity is one of those reasons, a BIG reason. Plus he still takes a 2 hour nap every day and has ZERO interest learning his ABC's etc. All those and a few others make me feel like it would be best to keep him home another year. I know that September is a long way off, and anything can happen between now and then....but if the first day of school was tomorrow I wouldn't feel completely comfortable sending him.

Some people feel I don't work with him enough.....my reply is that you can NOT MAKE a 4 year old learn something that they have no interest in. I do work with him....but I don't push him. I spend a lot of time with him and I try to teach him things. When he wants to....he picks it up. But only if HE WANTS TO. I cant make him. I don't believe anyone could.

I have been talking to a friend of mine who is a Kindergarten teacher in another district. Everything she has been telling me makes me lean more towards waiting a year to start R in school. She said that children should start when they are ready, not when the calendar says they are 5 and old enough to go.

So I am asking for your input.....have you dealt with this issue? Did you wait or send your child when they were 5? Are you still happy with your choice?


Raymond said...

Denise, I started when I was 5, but wished that i was held back another year. Not just in the earlier year, but also in High School. I say keep my namesake home another year...
Love Dad

Mom said...

You basically know how I feel, if he is not mature yet and not interested in learning you can not make them learn and you will have a kid with bad grades and a bad attitude who is miserable because he needs his 2 hour nap (you know if he goes a few days without a nap he is a miserable little boy). I say wait a year and he will be more mature and ready to go to school to learn. If you had a pre K near you then you could have enrolled him and found out what he was or wasn't ready for but since you didn't don't push him. Keep him out till next year. So I say keep him home. He is not ready.

Trisha Pearson said...

Hi Denise,

I've been a bad blogger lately so I haven't stopped by in awhile. But I just happened to see your post and thought I'd share my experience with this kind of situation.

After my oldest son was in preschool for a year, we didn't feel he was ready for kindergarten. We talked to his teacher and she wholeheartedly agreed with us. So, we waited a year and we've never regretted it. He is 13 now and, even being older than the kids in his grade, he's still smaller and "younger" in some ways. I think they just need to develop in their own time.

Good luck! R is lucky to have a mom that is willing to let him do things in his own time.

Missy said...

In my professional opinion, I do not think boys should start K until the age of seven. They are just not mature enough to handle the rigors. You also have to consider the age at which he would graduate high school, starting so early. Keep him home another year.

Deb said...

so moody's b-day is in the second half of august. i started him at 5, and although he has done fine, it has been an issue. for me, i went ahead because i knew there was a chance with his cf that he could miss a LOT of school and end up needing to be held back. if i had waited and that had happened, that would make him almost 2 years older than everyone else. here is what i have noticed... he is BY FAR the youngest in his grade because most boys waited to start kinder later. so he is young and he is immature. he is better friends with the kids a year behind him. i am okay with the decision i made and it has worked out, but i would HIGHLY recommend waiting.

and while we are on the subject... do not feel like you need to be pushing him or teaching him or whatever! i never did any of that. ever. everyone learns at their own pace. it sounds like he is having fun being 4. WHICH IS WHAT HE SHOULD BE DOING!

Heather said...

you are his mother...and you need to do what's best for him...and it sounds like you have already made the decision to keep him home. That is probably what you should do. He doesn't sound like he's ready, and there is a loooong time for him to be in school anyway!

M-Cat said...

He's got to be ready, on the other hand, it's hard on a kid emotionall to be with a young group of kids.

It doesn't seem to make much difference when they are in grade school, but high school seems to be harder.

Good question -

Amy said...

I waited a year with my son and I don't see any negative affects from doing so. I didn't think he was quite ready and trusted my gut instinct.

AmyLK said...

I don't see that R is ready yet. And you can't make a 4 year old learn if they don't want to. You have to do what is best for him. If he is pushed into school before hand, he will struggle and end up hating it. Then it will ALWAYS be a struggle. I agree with Heather that it sounds like you have already decided to keep him home.

How about talking with the K teacher in the district to evaluate him. She would be the second best person to decide if he's ready or not.

Annette W. said...

Former teacher here...not that it matters...

If he were born in September the choice wouldn't even be yours (probably). Most likely the district would say he needed to wait another year based on age.

Is it full day kindergarten so he'd miss his nap? That won't work.

I would say if you think he would flourish and thrive from a teacher teaching him go for it...but you have your doubts.

Before the final decision, I would try to talk to your school's k teachers.

Honestly, isn't it the job of the k teacher to teach the basics like numbers and letters? He may be "behind" for 6 months, but then he would likely catch up.

Maturity is an issue. He does need to be able to sit, obey...all that in school.

Sorry to just throw thoughts at you. Not that they help much, but maybe they do.

EmmaP said...

i know too many people who put their kids in school when their bday was near the cut-off date. Most of them regretted it. I also know many who said they held them back home and waited the year and they ALL said they do NOT regret that. If he were eager about all of the ABC stuff, that would be one thing. Besides - who says you are SUPPOSED to "work" with him BEFORE kindergarten? what happened to the good old days when the WHOLE POINT OF KINDERGARTEN was to get them ready for "real" school??? I swear! now we have preschool to get them ready for kindergarten, and even pre-schools are taking kids as soon as their out of diapers! what's next? Giving them some sort of SATs in the womb?

Julie said...

Just stopping by from FF. If you feel he isn't ready for school then don't send him. I do daycare and have seen both ways, send when a parent is ready but the kids isn't and sending a kid when he's ready. You can' not force a kid to learn and if you try it backfires, badly. It doesn't hurt to wait if you can. I wish I had held Mike back on more year too, it took him to 9th grade to catch up with everyone and now he exceeds in the A's and B's but it was the hardest stuggle up until then. Do what you heart tells you, it knows.
Take care and have a blessed weekend.

Tracie said...

I think it's better to wait. Boys mature slower than girls and some are just not ready for school at 5.

Kristin said...

I started my oldest when I had doubts and it was the worst. Trust your gut. Can you homeschool?

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