Liver, Methotrexate and listening to my own advice

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

I have been trying my best to accept things that happen as God's will. To be ok and to KNOW that God has a plan. It is not my place to ask questions. I am just supposed to lean on Him.
OK God....I am leaning. Help me to not doubt. To not question. To not wonder. To give it all up to you. Help me please. Amen.

Friday I went to see my Rheumatologist. If you have followed me for awhile you will remember last spring when I came off the Enbrel for a few months so I could start on the Methotrexate. This was my Rheumys idea. He thought my PCP jumped into the Enbrel too soon. I did it. I had several BAD months. It took nearly 6 months of building up the Methotrexate in my system along with SEVERAL dosage increases to get where I was starting to feel better. To notice a difference. It didn't "fix" me, but it helped. And believe me.....any help is a good thing. When I saw him on friday he told me that the Methotrexate is hurting my liver. And he told me to SKIP my next dose.....have bloodwork next weekend and then resume on the Methotrexate at HALF doses.

Really? REALLY? I know I can't risk damaging my liver. But I also know that a lower dosage doesn't help me. Maybe on the inside it does....maybe it helps stop my disease from affecting my internal organs. Maybe is stops it from progressing. But it DOESN'T help me FEEL better. It doesn't help me get out of bed in the morning. It doesn't help me to get through my day or take care of my kids.

So here I am.....freaked out that the next month or two (or more!) will be bad. Hubby told me that maybe this will work out so that I can go back on the Enbrel (which helped). He also said that maybe this is God's will and it will work out for a few other things going on in our lives. Yes....my hubby said that. Hearing him think like that warmed my heart....and helped me to get through a very dark and sad friday afternoon.

I have to trust in the doctor....because I don't want liver damage. I WILL make it through no matter how rough the next month or so will be. I have great people in my life who will help me. And I have God. and God has me.

Doctors visit update

I went to my Rheumatologist today. I spent about 5 minutes praying in the van before I went in, I prayed for strength to say what needed to be said and for God to make Dr. W actually listen to me. Guess what?! God is Good! I went in and it was WAY less stressful than the last few visits. We chit-chatted about kids, Halloween, dogs, children's TV shows.....oh...and me. He said he can tell I'm hurting. My blood work shows it too, apparently my numbers are up that show inflammation. So we talked about some options and decided on the following changes. My methotrexate is being increased. I told him that I feel better on it than I do when I am off of it, but I still don't feel good. He agreed. And he is still hopeful that it WILL do great things for me. Next, we discussed Savella, which is the new Fibromyalgia drug. I seriously can't tell that I am even on it.....so I am coming off of it and going to try Cymbalta next. A few more things were discussed and changed (can't throw all my dirty laundry out here) and then I got a cortisone shot in both hips. YAY. No, I am not a glutton for punishment and NO I don't like needles. But these shots help the pain in my hips A LOT. Totally worth the big, giant needles that they use. (Sorry Amy, that was for you! LOL)

So that's my good news for today. I go back in 3 months. Lets hope the increase in meds and the change in other meds will help.

I have to say Thank you to God......he answered some serious prayers for me today.

OK, I'm off to watch Glenn Beck on my DVR. I highly recommend everyone else do the same. Because some VERY scary stuff is going on in our Country and we all need to know about it.

Goodnight!

Update...good news

I went to the doctor yesterday and left with a smile on my face. Well, sort of. To start with he is increasing my Methotrexate from 4 pills a week to 7 a week. Ugh. That's tough to be happy about, especially since my hair is falling out already. But he said after my blood test on Thursday he will know if I need a medicine to help stop the hair loss. He cleared me for surgery (two doctors down, one to go!)and when I asked to start on Cymbalta he suggested that I be put on Savella instead. YAY!!! Cymbalta is a drug for depression that is also used to treat Fibromyalgia but Savella is an actual Fibromyalgia drug. He said that all the info about it shows great results. So WOO HOO! FINALLY a medicine to treat the fibro. I have been waiting a long long time for this. So yes, I am thrilled and have my hopes up....and I will let you know how it goes :-)

Thanks again for all the prayers....they are helping and I appreciate them all.