Pray for Addison

Please stop and take a moment to pray for Addison. She is in surgery RIGHT NOW. Please pray she has no complications and everything goes well. Then pray a few prayers for her parents. They need them too.
Thanks!!!

Look what I did!

I did it.

I went and got all my hair chopped off. AND Hubby said it looked "OK". I will take that as a compliment! LOL For anyone who knows my Hubby they know that is HUGE. Hubby HATES short hair on women, especially his wife. To be fair, I showed him a picture of what I wanted done before I went for my haircut. He also said that picture was "OK".

So what do you think?

P.S. Dont forget to enter my Book Giveaway!

Mornings and why I dont mind being Sick

This week is National Invisible Illness week, so I wanted to continue to support this by sharing a little bit more of myself.

Being sick is not something I would have chosen for myself. Of course not. Who would? But while I wouldn't choose this, I do try to accept it and live the best that I can. I struggle daily. Really, really struggle. I get up....no wait, that sounds too easy. I lay in bed and pray my body will support myself if and when I roll out of bed. After that painful (not at all graceful) roll I try desperately to stand up straight. Nope. Didn't happen today, yesterday or any day in the foreseeable future. So there I stand, hunched over waiting to see if I can manage that first step. That first step is nearly indescribable. Between EVERY joint being stiff and sore and EVERY muscle screaming in pain with the slightest movement....each and every one of those steps is a big event. But thankfully I can hold onto the door knob and then the bathroom counter to give myself support and make it to the toilet. Aaahh....sitting again. Guess what happens next? Yep....up I go, hunched over and hanging on to stuff for dear life. At this point I can see what type of day I will have. Some days after that initial battle of getting out of bed and then off the toilet I will start to loosen up. The pain will ease. I said EASE, not go away. The pain is a constant part of my life now. Good days are judged by less pain......Bad days, of course, depend on how bad my pain and fatigue are. Anyway, back to what I was saying....at this point I can see if my body is planning to cooperate or not. When it does, I have the "luxury" of being able to get breakfast for the boys AND clean up the kitchen afterwards. Yeah....most days aren't like that. Most days are closer to the Bad end of the spectrum and I can only manage to dish out some cold cereal or honeybun before I hobble to the couch. Maybe later I can get up and get those breakfast dishes done....and maybe not. I am learning to be OK with this, because I HAVE to be OK with this. It isn't going away......ever.
This was an example of a typical morning for me. The day does not get much better. Some days are.....and some are WAY worse. Hubby has found me on the top step crying my eyes out because I physically could not move another inch. The pain was too intense. My muscles were so weak. I just couldn't do it. Unfortunately my life is starting to be filled with more and more of these days. Even with new meds and treatments, I still struggle. I don't cry like I used to, I know that crying leads to headaches and that wont help anything.
What I have done is to trust God. I trust God that this is his plan. This is what He wants for me, and I need to find his Grace in it. I could speculate on how or why. I could complain that God doesn't love me. I could turn away from God.
But I don't. And I won't....EVER. Because I know God. I love Him and He loves me. I find comfort in praying, in reading the Bible and in talking with other "sick" people. I do NOT get mad.....or ask WHY ME?!? The real question is Why Not Me?? Maybe I am sick because it has brought me closer to Jesus. In fact I believe that....that one reason I am sick is because God knew it would bring me closer to Him. And I wouldn't change that.
2 Corinthians 7:10 The kind of sorrow that God wants makes people change their hearts and lives. This leads to salvation, and you cannot be sorry for that.
Illness happens. You can't pick or choose. You can't opt-out. But you can be Thankful that you are who you are, and that God is with you no matter what your situation is. He gives Peace, all you have to do is ask for it.
I asked and I received. Thank you Jesus!

Random thoughts

What a crazy week, and it is only Tuesday. I am going to skip right over Kanye West's initial screw up and jump to Taylor Swift. Did anyone see how gracefully she handled all the questions about Sunday nights AWFUL and disrespectful outburst? If not, here it is....


THAT right there is amazing. Yes, Taylor Swift is amazing. I really enjoyed her music before this, but I am even more of a fan now. Do you know of any other teenagers who would handle a situation like that with so much grace? No hate, no anger. Someone raised that girl right!

I went for my post-surgical check up with the surgeon yesterday and with my GYN today. Both visits went well and both said I can be done my restrictions in 2 weeks.

J lost his first tooth today. And by lost I mean LOST. He didn't even know it came out and has no idea where it went. I suppose he swallowed it at some point. It has been loose for awhile and I knew it would be coming out soon. I am just glad it happened at school. Because there are two things that as I mom, I have trouble with....one is snot and the other is teeth. Loose teeth, teeth coming out. AWFUL! Give me puke or a splinter any day but not snot or teeth. (BTW, I had to reassure him that the Tooth Fairy will still come without his tooth)

This scripture has been in my head all day:
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

To me this means that God will give me the strength to finish everything that he has planned for me each day. And I need to listen to Him and know when it is time to rest and to let everything else go. Good thinking, huh??

You Were Born For This Blog Tour and Giveaway!

"You Were Born for This, 7 Keys to a Life of Predicable Miracles" by Bruce Wilkinson is the most recent title shipped to me by Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing. The book summary sent to me stated:

His New York Times phenomenon The Prayer of Jabez changed how millions pray. Now Bruce Wilkinson wants to change what they do next.

Anyone can do a good deed, but some good works can only happen by a direct intervention from God. Around the world these acts are called miracles—not that even religious people expect to see one any time soon. But what would happen if millions of ordinary people walked out each morning expecting God to deliver a miracle through them to a person in need? You Were Born for This starts with the dramatic premise that everyone at all times is in need of a miracle, and that God is ready to meet those needs supernaturally through ordinary people who are willing to learn how Heaven works.

In the straightforward, story-driven, highly motivating style for which he is known, Wilkinson describes how anyone can help others experience miracles in such universally significant arenas of life as finances, practical help, relationships, purpose, and spiritual growth.

After reading this description I was so excited to start the book. Afterall, who wouldn't want to see more miracles in life, right?

Bruce Wilkinson delivers in this awesome book. Besides the step by step guide on how to change your mindset to be ready to deliver God sent miracles....he also mixes in plenty of heart-warming stories of miracles that he has either heard of or has been involved in delivering. His guide for preparing yourself for this God given task is easy to follow and understand. I imagine that Mr. Wilkinson has a truly blessed life with so many blessing flowing near to him.

If you would also like to read this book you can either 1) buy it from HERE or you can 2) WIN a copy by entering my Giveaway!!

All you need to do is leave me a comment. I will draw a winner Saturday Sept 19th. Good Luck!!

Things you need to know....

I have posted in the past about my illnesses but I wanted to do it again to help bring attention to National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. So here is a list of questions off the NICIAW website......

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illnesses I live with are: Sjogrens and Fibromyalgia

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2006

3. But I had symptoms since: 2006....I was one of the lucky ones who didn't spend 5 or more years without a true diagnosis. My neurologist knew right away that I had Fibromyalgia and my PCP found the Sjogrens pretty quick too.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Adjusting to the limitations my body has, and how to continue to get through the day while I am in pain. It is hard when you know that you have a lot of stuff that needs to be done and your body will only cooperate to do a few of those things.

5. Most people assume: I am just lazy.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: Moving. Seriously, between feeling like I haven't slept, stiffness and pain... just getting up and moving is HARD.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: I like all the blood and guts ER shows.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: Cordless telephone. If I didn't have one I would miss most calls because most days I can't move that fast.

9. The hardest part about nights are: Nights always seem to be worse for me. I think it is because I push through so much during the day and when I finally stop to rest all that pain comes flooding at me.

10. Each day I take __ pills. (No comments, please) 13 pills (more than that if you count pain killers). Except on Saturdays when I take 20 (methotrexate is only taken one day a week).

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: Haven't tried any, I guess I don't know too much about them.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Invisible. I hate my disease and how it limits me but I am also ashamed of it and I am glad most people have no idea what I am going through.

13. Regarding working and career: I used to have one, but not right now. There is no way I could function all day at a job. They would fire me for falling asleep at my desk or for taking too many days off.

14. People would be surprised to know: That things that seem small to them are huge to me. Like taking a shower, that drains my energy. So planning anything after a shower is not an option. I need to rest afterwards. The same goes for household chores. I can't do the dishes and turn around and run the sweeper. Nope...it just can't happen that way. AND another thing that might surprise people is That even some of my closest friends have no idea how sick I really am. I am just too ashamed to let them know.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: that this is PERMANENT. Forever is a long, long time to feel crappy and hurt like Hell.

16. Something I never thought I couldn't do with my illness that I did was: This is hard. I can't think of anything I have done that my diseases would have prevented. I guess I better get out there and start trying new stuff, right?

17. The commercials about my illness: Fibro has commercials and I hate them. It seems like it is the "new" thing to have.....which makes me think people assume I jumped on the commercial bandwagon. But I had it before those commercials came out. And Sjogrens doesn't have any commercials. But I would love to see one....and see if anyone pronounced it correctly.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Riding my bicycle. I finally got the bike I always wanted and then got sick. That depresses me.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: My independence. Well, it isn't completely gone but on bad days I need lots of help.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Blogging!

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Play and Run with my boys. I would do everything they asked and enjoy every second of having an able body to do it with.

22. My illness has taught me: To slow down. And that being with family and friends is what is important.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Are you really THAT bad??

24. But I love it when people: Accept me as I am, Sickness and all.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the LORD. Jeremiah 30:17

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Tell your doctor how your feeling, TRUTHFULLY. If your hurting, tell them. If you are tired, tell them . And if they wont listen, get new doctors.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How people judge you so harshly and don't believe you since you look ok. It is very frustrating. But I guess I can't complain too much since I spend most of my time hiding my illnesses. BUT those times when people have found out and dismisses it as nothing really upset me.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Say it was OK to cancel or change plans at the last minute. (thanks Amy! You are the BEST!!)

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I think more people need to know that just because someone looks OK on the outside, they may be suffering on the inside. Don't judge!

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Thankful. I hope that it helps to change the way you see other people.

Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com

No easy answers

My heart broke a little tonight.

It isn't that I don't think about it, because I do. But I honestly NEVER thought about how or when I would need to explain it to my kids.

I am talking about this...

Tomorrow we are attending the 9/11 Memorial Service at J's school. I had started to tell him that we were going to be there and why and he interrupted me to tell me about the book the teacher read to them. It was about a fire boat that helped when the planes hit the Twin Towers. Then the questions started. The first questions were from me, asking about the book. They were followed by questions about how it happened and why. He was so curious. And I wanted to give him honest answers without scaring the crap out of him. So I carefully weighed every word and explained as much as I felt a 5 year old could handle. And I cried. I cried for all the lives lost. I cried for all the families of the victims. And I cried for my son, who lost a little bit of innocence tonight.